Good question. Easily answered, hard to follow through with action. Why is that?
There are over 4,000 books written on the subject by more than 3,000 authors, including the bible. Yet why is forgiveness so hard and what holds us back from saying those simple words “I forgive you”? For some, this comes easy and for others, it takes years. We have heard from some of our guests, Such as Jim Sayih and Garrett L George, that when they did forgive, both themselves and the recipient felt immediate relief. For some people, its making that first move that can be paralyzing so we wait for the other to make it, thinking “well they wronged me so its up to them”. Yet, don’t both parties carry a little anchor as a result of this delay? In the end, does it really matter?
Everyone and every situation is different I get that, but the words are the same. Ask someone who has uttered these words if they feel the “thought” of the act was worse that the act itself.
In an article by Dr. Lopez in Psychology today, he stated “Forgiveness is difficult in part because evolution has endowed us with the psychological motivation to avoid being exploited by others, and one of the easiest ways to prevent exploitation is to hit back or simply avoid the exploiter. Therefore, any discussion of forgiveness must begin by thinking carefully about the desire for retaliation.”
We turn to God for answers, yes some will turn to God for strength. We learned from Dr. Dana Sinclair, a international known Psychologist, that “Feelings” can sometimes get in the way of truth. She taught us to focus on the job at hand and the “Feelings” will follow instead of the other way around. So, can’t we use this example for Forgiveness? Our feelings are NOT the Truth all the time. The personal experience maybe fact, but it is not the entire TRUTH.
Sometimes we hold onto the personal facts too hard, and we are not able to grab onto the truth. Maybe that is when Faith truly does come into play. Take it from our guest this week, Tyson Dever. The FACT he was hit by a Cement truck and almost lost his life. This accident confined him to a wheelchair. This event has altered his life in a profound way, yet, he took this change, worked through it, and has served and helped thousands with his story. That also is FACT. But the other side of that, we don’t know the effect of the accident on the Cement truck driver, which is also the TRUTH.
One thing we know for sure. These are not as simple questions or topics. If they were, there would not be all the books, the lectures, the discussions, and the therapy sessions. One thing we do know is that silence has never been a positive thing. Learning, asking questions, taking action steps is something we all need to work on and be better at. We thank God for People like Garrett, Jim, Tyson and Dana for opening our hearts and our minds to being better people, no matter what is thrown at us.